We just had the incredible Erin Ayala of Skadi Sport Psychology on the podcast to chat about a range of topics including Self-Talk, process vs. performance, and of course, GOAL SETTING. My favorite moment? When she gave this prompt:
Fast-forward to the end of your season and ask yourself one question: how would you want your teammates, loved ones and competitors and coach to describe you and how you showed up the season? What words do you want them to use? And that’s the goal. That’s where the money is.
Amazing. I loved this, and it reminded me of a recent conversation we had when Zoe Rom was on the podcast, and she and I were reminiscing about Leadville and my ankle injury. She passed me in the race as I limped away from Twin Lakes, debating with myself if I’d be able to continue. (Spoiler: I made it to mile 50 before I had to drop out.) When she passed, we exchanged the usual pleasantries, and I tried to put a smile on and cheer for her. By the time I was over the mountain and heading to the aid station where I’d be able to drop out, literally sobbing with every step, I saw her again. And as I was doing with every person I saw—luckily not many!—I pasted on a smile and cheered my head off for her. I was having a crap day, but why should she have to see that? What if, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I could be encouraging for the other amazing women in my field? I wasn’t going to beat her that day, but I could celebrate her. I was being the person I wanted to be in the race, even on a crappy day. And I’m the most proud of that.
HOWEVER. I know that this prompt is tricky. Sometimes it’s hard to think about who you want to be at a race. If you’re struggling to think of how you want to be described, I think sometimes it’s helpful to get a little bit negative.
So let’s try the inverse to get started! I was just at Homegrown Gravel and walking through the parking lot post-race, I heard a woman talking about her race experience and a guy she briefly rode with. She was telling her friends how negative the guy was. I instantly had the thought that “oh, I definitely wouldn’t want someone to talk about me that way post race!”
And that made me think about Erin’s prompt. But thinking about the ‘who do I NOT want to be’ felt a lot clearer than thinking about who I wanted to be. It made me think about the times in races where things weren’t going well and I started offering myself and others excuses, or the times I rolled my eyes when others made excuses to me.
I thought about the times where I was internally praying to get a flat tire, just so I could drop out.
I thought about the times when, as a journalist, I watched a pro throw a temper tantrum at the finish line.
That’s not the joyful kind of racing I want to embody. Those are things I would be/have been embarrassed about.
So, if you loved the prompt but struggled with it, I encourage you to start with the inverse and write out what you don’t want to be. BUT don’t stop there, make sure you flip it and come up with the positive. It’s much stronger to go into a race with positive intentions rather than going in with a list of “won’t dos.”
